


if you love me (don't let go)

by aurora_chiroptera



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Language of Flowers, Love Confessions, Meliorn uses they/them pronouns, Nonbinary Meliorn (Shadowhunter Chronicles), Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:27:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22501726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurora_chiroptera/pseuds/aurora_chiroptera
Summary: Raphael knew flowers were important to seelies. But could there be a deeper meaning in the bouquet he received from Meliorn?
Relationships: Meliorn/Raphael Santiago
Comments: 6
Kudos: 45





	if you love me (don't let go)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tothetrashwhereibelong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tothetrashwhereibelong/gifts).



> Just a little ficlet about how Raphael and Meliorn first get together... I have a lot of slow burn headcanons for them but so little time, so here this for now~

Raphael was stopped by a gentle hand on his arm as he left the New York Institute after the meeting of the Downworld Council had ended. He turned to find it was Meliorn, their usual wide smile seeming almost shy. Maia nodded to them both as she walked by, before returning to her conversation with Luke, who had given a report to the council.

“I was wondering,” Meliorn began, before pausing. They seemed to gather their thoughts. “I was wondering if I might escort you home.”

Raphael felt his brows raise in surprise. He quickly schooled his expression, not wanting Meliorn to be offended. The two of them had been working more closely as of late, Meliorn volunteering to help on assignments that Raphael was also on. And Raphael appreciated their friendship greatly. “Certainly,” he said with a nod. “It would be nice to have the company.”

Meliorn smiled brightly and offered Raphael their arm. Managing to keep his expression neutral this time at the unexpected gesture, Raphael took the offered arm after only a moment’s pause. He couldn’t help but wonder because it was a rather long walk to the Dumort and didn’t really take Meliorn where they needed to go to get home, why they wanted to join him. But the warmth of their presence, the lack of pressure to perform a certain aspect of himself (leader, no-nonsense, aloof) let Raphael relax as they walked together.

“What are you thinking about?” Meliorn asked, their voice soft, just for the two of them.

“The city has changed so much, and sometimes it feels like I haven’t,” Raphael said because it was something he had been thinking about a lot lately. “I am nearing my 100th year, and it all moves so slowly and so quickly at the same time.”

Meliorn hummed. “I guess I don’t think of immortality the way you would. I am surrounded by those who are immortal, have known that was the life I would have since I was born.” Raphael looked over to see Meliorn’s profile. They were lovely, long hair falling over their shoulder and shining in the streetlights.

“I lost my sister,” Raphael admitted. It wasn’t something he talked about with many people, nor that many knew, beyond Raphael’s family (Magnus and Catarina), and Simon. “It was two years ago now, but I miss her every day. I have been missing her since I was turned.”

“I don’t have any siblings, so I won’t be able to understand your pain, fully,” Meliorn said after they walked half a block in thoughtful silence. “But if you need help holding such a loss, I am here.”

Raphael nodded, taking a few deep breaths that he didn’t truly need, but were grounding. “Thank you,” he finally managed.

“Of course,” Meliorn said, and then silence settled back around them. It was comfortable, companionable, as if words were not needed for the understanding they had found with each other. Raphael didn’t feel like this in the presence of many, beyond Magnus, Catarina, and Ragnor.

Lost in such thoughts and the surprisingly pleasant evening, Raphael was surprised when they turned onto the street and he saw the Dumort in the distance. He tried to think of what he would say to Meliorn, what he should say but didn’t come up with anything more than, “Thank you for accompanying me,” by the time they reached the front door.

Meliorn smiled and gave a slight bow after Raphael let go of their arm. “Thank you for allowing me to.”

Raphael couldn’t help a matching smile from forming on his face. He could admit to himself that he was charmed and knew he would blush if he could.

“Before I go,” Meliorn said, hands going behind their back, and then they were offering a bouquet that they must have materialized. They handed it to Raphael as they said, “Goodnight. I hope to see you again soon.”

“Goodnight,” Raphael said after a long moment, taking his eyes from the bouquet in his hands. Meliorn was already far down the street, walking towards Central Park.

Raphael looked back at the plants that made up the bouquet and frowned. They were not standard flowers… 

He hurried back to his rooms, nodding to the members of the clan he ran into. Thankfully no one needed him, so he could shut the door of his apartment to focus on figuring this out. Filling a jar with water, Raphael placed the bouquet into it before he grabbed his laptop to look up what flowers these were… and any meanings they may have.

The lovely greens of the plants felt like a beginning, a possible start of spring. The first, encircling the flowers at the center, Raphael found were leaves of the arborvitae cedar tree. This meant unchanging friendship, and Raphael puzzled at that. In the center of the leaves were light green rosebuds, still closed, and made Raphael stare at in wonder. Roses almost always meant something about love, to his knowledge. He was proven right when he found that green buds were confessions of love.

Raphael pulled out his phone and was calling Magnus before he could think better of it. Thankfully it wasn’t too late, which Raphael found as he glanced at the time after he already started the call. Though it would be close to midnight in Idris... 

But he didn’t have to worry. As always, it was only a few rings before Magnus picked up. “Raphael, how are you?”

“Good,” Raphael said, and then remembered he shouldn’t just jump into his question. “How are you?”

“Can’t complain,” Magnus said, sounding amused. “Now, what’s the matter?”

“Nothing,” Raphael said far too quickly for Magnus to believe it.

“Oh, really now,” and Magnus was laughing. Raphael smiled at the sound. It was so much more carefree than it had been only three years ago.

“I need your opinion on something,” Raphael settled on. “Or at least your thoughts.”

“I’m all ears,” Magnus promised.

“Wait, this isn’t on speaker? Lightwood can’t hear?”

“Lightwood-Bane,” Magnus corrected. “And no, Alec can’t hear you, he’s already fallen asleep. Now, what has you so excited.”

“It’s Meliorn,” Raphael blurted.

It sounded like Magnus was sitting up. “What about them?”

“I don’t know… They walked me home after the council meeting tonight,” Raphael decided to start, but that wasn’t the true start. “Well, we’ve always gotten along and have been spending so more time together, mostly in a professional capacity mind you.”

“Mmhmm,” Magnus sounded far too pleased and excited. Raphael was tempted to hang up, but he also needed to know what Magnus thought.

“They gave me a bouquet when we reached the Dumort.”

“Flowers and plants are very important to seelies,” Magnus said, and Raphael rolled his eyes, because everyone knew that. But it was actually helpful to hear, to have even the obvious confirmed. “What flowers were they?”

“I looked up their meanings already,” Raphael said and realized his body was breathing fast.

He paused there, long enough that Magnus prompted, “And?”

“They mean…” Raphael started then swore. “They mean confessions of love and unchanging friendship.”

Magnus whistled, but then didn’t comment on that.

“What do you think this means!?” Raphael said, more frantic then he meant to be. At least Magnus wouldn’t hold it against him. He might tease a bit, but not right now.

And Magnus didn’t laugh this time, though Raphael was sure it was funny. Maybe he would laugh at some later point as well. “I think you just said what it means,” Magnus prompted, gently now.

“But…” Raphael sighed, pacing around his apartment now, unable to keep still. “What does it really mean?”

Magnus was silent for a moment, but Raphael could hear him breathing and knew he was still on the line. When he spoke again, it was very thoughtful. “I think it means they have feelings for you. Romantic feelings and they want to approach you about them. However, they want you to know that if you do not return them that it won’t change your friendship.”

Raphael nodded, though Magnus couldn’t see. His pacing slowed. “That would make sense.”

“You’re smiling, I can hear it,” Magnus said, his tone warm.

Raphael realized he was right. “Yeah, yeah I guess so.”

“So, how are you going to answer?” Magnus asked.

Raphael went back to his laptop, still on the counter next to the bouquet. “I think I should answer in the same fashion.”

“And that answer will be?”

Raphael took a breath and thought about it. Thought about what he was feeling, thought about how long it had been since he last had a relationship. Thought about how comfortable he was with Meliorn.

“I will let them know that I feel the same.”

“I’m so happy for you, my boy.” And Raphael knew he meant it.

It ended up being sometime before Raphael could speak to Meliorn again, and he wanted to do this in person. Before the next council meeting, Raphael took them aside very briefly. Meliorn’s eyes were beautifully made up, and they looked impressive in their armor. But it was the way they smiled at Raphael, with kindness and hope, that made Raphael know that this really could be something.

Raphael held up the single jonquil flower (affection returned) he had purchased. Meliorn smiled even brighter, gently taking the flower. “I’m glad,” they murmured, holding the flower as if it were something precious.

Raphael thought he would feel awkward now. But he could only smile back. He didn’t know what the next steps might be, the feeling of hope mixed headily with affection. “Would you like to spend some time together after the meeting?”

Meliorn gave a little bow. “Nothing would make me happier.”


End file.
